God as a cat? Boys not getting hints at all, boob horror story
???Mawkishly sentimental and corny??? but whimsical
This past weekend after a fun bout of drunken bowling with the Dancing Kids who live in the basement of my apartment building, myself and the boy toy Clay went for a stroll in the small neighborhood across the street. It was pretty late, pitch black sky and a big ol bunch of stars. I'm talking a shitload of stars. There's gotta be a nicer way to say it. And it's sorta chilly. We decide to lay down on this random yard and just look at the sky. CLASSIC, i KNOW. (Whose idea was it, yep, mine.) And so we're talking, and somehow the dad topic comes up (he died in may) and I had a little emotional spell. I'm only human.
Anyway, in the course of my whining, I saw THREE (count 'em) THREE shooting stars, and I might have seen like, one in my whole life ever. And this was within like 10 minutes. And that's pretty tingles down your spine-y already.
BUT GET THIS
So I'm all emotionally weird and sketch, and OUT OF THE DARK VOID OF NIGHT comes this cat. No collar, which initially made me freak out that it was some rabid vampire cat (remember BUNNICULA?). But so it rubs up against Clay (who is sitting crosslegged at this point while i am still on my back on the ground) and it's purring the whole time like nonstop. Then, it crawls onto my torso and is facing me and just lays down on me and purrs like a fucking monster derby truck. INSANE! Cats aren't like that. Outdoor cats aren't. They stay away from people not lie on them. And don't worry it wasn't mangy it was very clean and soft.
But how touching was that story? I wanted a picture w/ the cat but Clay was all, it's going to freak the hell out and attack you if the flash goes off. Bullshit. The thing fucking posed like a perfect gentleman. (Cue the Twilight Zone Music)
GIRL...I love you like the sprinkles on my ice cream cone.
Haha boys
Jessica was like: men never EVER get hints or tippings off. and with women, that's like 80% of how we communicate w/ each other: body language, standoffishness, whatever. guys just think we're PMSing or crazy, which yeah we totally are, but in many other cases, it's just our own little language tow hich men are totally obliv.
Brunnedogg: no- see the wierd thing is- i almost always know when a girl is hitting on me or crushing on me etc. for some reason i can just tell
Jessica was like: that's a cool gift
Brunnedogg: but i had no clue at all in this case
Jessica was like: i think it's cuz she's young
Brunnedogg: usually i can tell. yeah- that prolly has some to do with it
Jessica was like: like in college people just like, dress like whores or get drunk and grope people, and then you're like hm maybe there's some vibes here. she's still into the "do you like me check yes or no" notepassing 8th grade stage
Brunnedogg: i dont think she really tried to flirt or anything
Jessica was like: maybe she thinks she is
Brunnedogg: true. I hear that. What you wrote above, that is.
Jessica was like: which thing
Brunnedogg: the long one above. i had to take a sec to read it
Jessica was like: slow, eh kenny?
Brunnedogg: hahaha. Funny. Faster than you. Ha. Maybe not.
Jessica was like: its easy to get vibes when people are molesting each other
Brunnedogg: hahahahahahahah
Jessica was like: not so easy when you're hoping he'll see the glimmer in your eye, because BOYS DONT GET HINTS
Brunnedogg: hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Jessica was like: you totally have to like grab their penis
Brunnedogg: hahahahahahahahahaha
Jessica was like: that's just what i've learned
Brunnedogg: oh sure
Jessica was like: not that i'm a dick grabber or anything- only on occasion
Brunnedogg: not experience or anything like that, hahahahhaha
Jessica was like: when adequately provoked by either hormones or alcohol
Brunnedogg: i hear that one. oh man, we definatly need to party together sometime
Jessica was like: why, so i can grab some dick?
Brunnedogg: we'd have a blast
Jessica was like: hahahaha juuuust kiddin
Brunnedogg: of course
Jessica was like: dont get your hopes or anything else up
Brunnedogg: hahahaha you know i am
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Jessica was like: i think tj is a little light in the loafers
AFG Spyder: what?
Jessica was like: haha i dont know, he just uses smiley faces all the time, and his font is comic sans ms
Boob horror story
Monday August 11, 2003
Posted by: ridgecliff (6:09:59 PM EDT)
He's the kind of guy who's always passin' by
and never has time to spend
And he'll take you for a spin
and won't look within to find out who you are
And he numbs himself with weed, he's from the coldest breed
who judge by what they see
And I thought he was smart enough to know that the girl on his arm will
never calm his storms
-some food for thought by Leona Naess "charm attack" meh.
gubets05: well we should talk online more instead of just stalking each other
gubets05: okay I am so sorry but I have to go
gubets05: but obviously, based on the entertainment factor of this conversation, we must type more with each other.
Today my mom and I were at the mall, and we had to do the hated bra shopping. We both were not looking forward to it, I mean it's such a hassle. All the straps and little hangars and the old women working there who move like sap.
So anyway, we walk around trying to find some bras that aren't the size of my head and all orthopaedic looking...and we stumble upon this wrinkled old woman in black who works there, ask her for help. So we follow her to the normal bra area and she asks me the bra size. I tell her and she goes...god this is horrible.....she goes...
"THAT'S IT?"
What a fucking bitch. And she didn't have boobs herself, so who is to talk? She proceeded to make fun of my tits about 3 times during the duration of my time spent there. Just rude. I thought the lingerie section was a safe zone, an all-women kinda powwow, harkening back to my days of all girls high school. But apparently misogyny exists within the female community. That fucking cunt. (haha, what misogyny?)
Jessica was like: and she wouldn't talk to anybody at all so i kept hanging around and gently yet vigorously bored my way into her psyche like a sperm into the outer lining of an oocyte, it was smooth.
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