I can be mature, god damn it. UPC hair. 

I can be mature, god damn it. UPC hair.

I can be mature, god damn it
Sunday July 13, 2003
Posted by: ridgecliff (11:22:34 PM EDT)

huzza88: i love that journal thing.. that's like all i did last night

yawn. art films (dancer in the dark) make me sleepy. time to break the sleeping pill habit and passs out tonight.

hey boulderites. i'm envisioning a john cusack marathon. you know that you're down.

SoSueMe409: your writing just has this entertaining, witty tone to it
Jessica was like: i hope the journalism school thinks that too

so sorry for the um, vividness? but let's all just get real with each other here--uteruses suck. this is probably the insane hormones talking, so please don't comment on this at any point, but to be blunt, the late egg must have been satan, because i can just envision the old "ute" being like "now get the FUCK out of here! OUT! and take your nutrient-rich lining with you! you good for nothing oocyte!" it's out of hand.

So, complications with both my mom and cat's parents, it looks as though the Road Trip aforementioned in such grandeur might not take place. Apparently we're mature enough to get ourselves into college and do all the applications and whatnot ourselves, find our own apartment and sign a lease, consult a lawyer about the lease, negotiate a shitload of free furniture with the landlord, never get speeding tickets, maintain decent GPAs et cetera, yet we can't handle occasional vehicle use although we have had our licenses for 3 years. My mom, over dinner at "the wok" (mongolian bbq) even though I was in Students Against Drunk Driving for 4 years and oh yeah, I was treasurer senior year...said "I dont want you drinking those malt beverages you like and driving" whaaaaaaaaaaa the disrespect was fucking rampant. This is ***at a meal that I was forced to drive her to because she had already tossed back too much wine. Irony?****

oh snap the pineapple pizza has arrived!~

So back to the responsibility thing, sometimes I'm just tempted to make a list of how good I am and shove it in my mom's face, because there are people my age who have three illegitimate children and are addicted to cocaine. Girls my age who are in jail, who aren't in school, who are prostitues et cetera.

On the other hand, I graduated from a private catholic high school. I went to the fucking national young leaders conference. I got two 5's on AP exams and one 4. I make appointments with advisors and doctors and whothefuckever all by myself. I made the dean's list. Now let me have my fucking CAR! I'm not trying to brag I just want to show her how far from the crazy alternative I can be.

It's really frustrating, because (Cat agrees on this too) parents always accolade you when you need it the least. "Oh we're so proud of you for switching jobs like you did all by yourself and so responsibly, letter of resignation and everything." and youre just like uhhh okay they paid better at the 2nd place. "Oh I'm so proud of you (sniff sniff) you got your first apartment all together and it sounds really great and close to campus and we're just so proud of you" and you think uhh, well it had to be done. So they build you up like that and you're like well cool, maybe they think i'm mature. So with this maturity I apparently possess, I'll do a mature thing and take care of my car. You run this by them, "WHAT? CAR? YOU? TAKE CAR TO SCHOOL? NO! YOU WILL DRINK AND DRIVE! YOU CANT TAKE CARE OF IT AND AN APARTMENT! BABY STEPS!"

christ. and the worst thing is, this frustration makes you act really immature, because you keep hitting a wall, to the point where you go "waaaaaaaa! i AM mature god damnit!" and then look completely immature.

hey, get these songs because it's apparent you don't have much to do today:
no pressure over cappuccino, alanis morissette
with or without you, u2. such a great song.
la cienega just smiled- ryan adams. can't get it out of my head, partially because the little solo totally rips off of a Cure song that I can't put my finger on. And hell, if it resembles the Cure in any way and has scratchy male vocals you KNOW I am allllllll over it.

haha oh shit, so my brother was downloading all of this FUNK on the computer. he wanted to make me a mix cd. (this was surprising, him having a creative motivation to do something that would make me happy. well, at least in his mind. i am not about funk.) and he's playing some of these songs and i'm like Cam, don't make this, I will never listen to it. Ever. and he looks at me and goes:
"Not even on....................FRIDAY?????!"
and it was just so great because if you think about it and listened to the song he was playing (Rufus Thomas, do the Push and Pull) and how incredibly funky it was and that feeling of "haleluja" that happens on friday, especially in 80s wallstreet movies, it just might work.

and on a closing note, if you want to know how much of a geek I am, I downloaded that techno song "just breathe" they play in mitsubishi commercials. you know the one. there's something classic about it that makes me think of women holding those long cigarette holders, the smell of and pails of magnolias... burnished chrome, and lots of Art Deco. a smokey lounge.

UPC hair
Tonight during a pause in the flow of customers at the check out counter of my job, I turned to a coworker and said "I hate my job" and held the little laser UPC scanner up to my temple and pulled the little trigger. (I'm hilarious like that....right...) and to out surprise, it BEEPED in recognition of a bar code. I turn to the screen to see what item it thinks I am. Purdue t shirt, apparently. Totally nuts. How could the strands of my hair be lined up just like a Purdue t shirt UPC? I couldn't get it to do it again.

Jim Breuer has such awesome physical comedy.