Slaughter of 30,000 chickens by wood chipper, and About the Job from HELL
Perfect teddybears, slaughter of 30,000 chickens by wood chopper
Tuesday July 8, 2003
Posted by: ridgecliff (12:21:34 AM EDT)
recently life has been about the simple things. baking cookies--even if (vice) they're the break n' bake variety. catching up with friends around the nation. magazines in the mail. thunderstorms (we've had so many! inches and inches!) dusk. getting the pillows just right. how my dog looks at me with his tail wagging as i come in the door after work. library books. acoustic guitar. and by all means, bruce springsteen. hugging my brother. that feeling of accomplishment after the laundry's done.
i made a teddybear at buildabear workshops, and although everyone thought the navy and yellow soccer jersey and the red boxers with tiny blue paws and yellow smiley faces didnt look right, it was perfect in my mind's eye. and i still look at this bear (still, ha, i got him yesterday) and he's suited so perfectly that it perfectly suits me. GOD that was the cutest line.
his name is benjamin. just in case you were wondering.
i read in the paper that an egg company in california killed 30,000 of their chickens (they had some disease scare so they had to kill them) but.......they did it by GET THIS........THROWING THEM THROUGH WOOD CHIPPERS. sad note for such a chill entry but that's how life goes:
perfect teddybears, slaughter of 30,000 by wood chipper
i told that to my friend john and he goes:
Pr4tt: my god
Pr4tt: BUCKAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
hahaha. chicken, get it?
Jessica was like: so im at the drive in last night
Jessica was like: and i say "dude, what would you do if bruce springsteen walked up to the truck right now and put his elbow on the bed edge and was like "how you guys doin' tonite?"
Jessica was like: who thinks these thoughts?
"i want to die like the sunset"-tori amos. hate the music, dig the quote its so shakespearean.
"life hands you one fucked up hand sometimes, i tell ya what."-my cohort, quoting companion, and business partner Fish, like 2 years ago but its still tight as hell.
About my job
What on earth is going on in my heart
Has it turned as cold as stone
Seems these days I don't feel anything
Less it cuts me right down to the bone
What on earth is going on in my heart-david gray
Man, I am so fucking pissed. My job puts me in the worst mood ever, it's terribly despiriting and takes away all of my remaining faith in humanity. This is partially due to the demographics of working at the "dirt mall"--lots of rednecks, white trash, janky brothas, etc. (Forest Fair Mall)
Working at such a ghetto operation, where everything in the store is under 8$, I think the grit is rubbing off on me. Case in tragic, tragic point: Today some customers came up to me and asked me if we had any Kentucky jackets. I paused and thought about it (the store is enormous) and then said "Hm...you know, I think we're plum out. Oh wait...we have a fewwww over there." WHAT? PLUM OUT?
PLUM OUT????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I'm becoming a hillbilly.
One of the asst. managers/keyholders at work is this really pale, scrawny, hooknosed geeky kid named Josh. When he got his job he enlisted a bunch of his equally pale, socially inept friends to join him at our establishment. It's like this franchise of the Magic the Gathering Society,as I semiaffectionately (ok that was a lie) refer to them in the back of my head. One of these kids, in typical Magic the Gathering style, thinks he's exceptionally gifted in the wit department, when all evidence is to the contrary. If he put a fraction of the effort he puts into coming across as cool into doing his fucking job, perhaps the store would be clean before 10pm and we could all get the fuck out of there on time. But alas, he does jack shit, especially when his friend who got him the job is in charge...of course he never makes his friends do anything. Bitch bitch bitch
Another thing I notice about my job is the proliferation of cellular phone usage among such an inept, backwards population. All the customers are from Hamilton, this podunk shithole town out in the middle of nowhere. Everyone knows Hamilton is synonymous with white trash. A nickname? Hamiltucky. And these fat, 8th grade educated slobs in wifebeaters have cells. I half expect to hear "dueling banjos" as a ringtone. I know it's coming, it's bound to happen.
Funny observation. Young married couple, two tiny kids pushing a cart through the store. Husband stops and grabs a shirt that says something about Beer Goggles. He goes over to the wife and asks her what she thinks. Her reply: "It's so college, honey." "So?" "You're a father now, you can't wear that!" "(groan, puts it back)" and that made me realize that nobody's ever a total official grown up, there's always that kid inside wanting the Beer Goggle T shirt.
A lot of the shirts we sell now are including sexual innuendo that is just rank. One example is this shirt with a skull and crossbones on it and its like Captain Bone diving company, we go longer and deeper...shit like that. But the WORST one is the shirt, jersey, and hat that all say "HAIRY BEAVERS" on it and it has this hideous cartoonish beaver on it with enormous teeth. The rednecks absolutely love that shirt...young teenage guys are buying the hats. As if that will get them ass. Riiiight.
So work puts me in a bad mood, and I was driving home from work and people just suck at driving in Ohio. Let's merge on the interstate going 40, shall we? And then they're winding off the offramp, curling around and the whollllle time the turn signal keeeeps onnn flaaaashing. TURN IT OFF GOD DAMN IT there is NO OTHER WAY you could be GOING it's an OFFRAMP curling around 90 degrees to where you began the TURN TO THE RIGHT I GET IT ALREADY.
And then there's the people who slam on their breaks when they see a cop who is busy writing someone a ticket. He's BUSY, he's not going to hop back in the car and go after you for going 36 in a 35 in the middle of the dealings with the prior offender. Come the hell on.
my mom wants me to quit and work at the office. I think that's going to happen very soon.
i'm done with bitchin for now. this has been therapeutic :)
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